The Window of Tolerance
The term “Window of Tolerance” was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the “window” within which you are able to experience a range of emotional intensity and still feel safe.
The term “Window of Tolerance” was coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the “window” within which you are able to experience a range of emotional intensity and still feel safe. This means that when we are “in our window of tolerance”, we’re able to take in information from our environment, and we may not always feel calm, but there’s an underlying sense of “I’m okay”, “I have the resources to ask for help”, “I’m safe”, or “I can find a way to get through this”.
Sometimes, we have experiences that nudge us outside of our Window of Tolerance, either into hyper-arousal (fight or flight responses) or hypo-arousal (freeze or shut down responses).
Hyper-arousal, or the fight/flight responses, can often look like hypervigilance (frequent scanning your environment to stay safe), intense anxiety and/or panic, feeling out of control, racing thoughts, rage, and more.
Hypo-arousal, or the freeze responses, can often look like shutting down, feeling “not there”, numb, disconnected, ashamed, emptiness, and more.
There may be certain experiences (times of high stress, trauma triggers, juggling many projects at once, lack of restful sleep, etc.) or environments that can cause a person’s Window of Tolerance to shrink (have you ever thought, “normally I’d be able to handle this, I don’t know why this is so hard for me!” ?), and there are tools to help come back within it.
The Window of Tolerance
Returning to a sense of “I’m okay”.
Checking in: how does it feel to know this? Does it sound like experiences you’ve had?
The good news is that our Window of Tolerance can expand with the right tools and support (the human brain is truly incredible!)
Awareness and naming when you might be outside of your Window of Tolerance is a good first step. Practicing grounding skills and orienting to the present moment can help increase your sense of presence, giving you more clarity of the resources you have. Taking deep breaths, slowing down, taking a break, or getting a drink of water might be tools accessible to you. Working with a trauma therapist can be helpful in building on these tools, getting support, as well as knowing more about any underlying trauma that might need a safe space to process.
