Anchors
Tools for staying here
It’s 2025, every day we’re learning about things happening that are out of our control. Things feel chaotic, scary, sometimes hopeless, even.
I don’t know all of the answers; I’m a human myself outside of being a therapist, figuring this out as we go. It can be helpful to have an “anchor” to come back to when the world is unpredictable. Below are some tools I included in my last quarterly-ish newsletter (sign up here if you’re interested in receiving these!) that I want to make permanent. My hopes are that whether you use any of the following tools or not, you leave knowing that you aren’t alone in whatever it is you’re feeling.
First, I want to be clear and say that it’s extremely annoying when therapists/helpers consistently recommend “self-care” when what people actually need is societal change and access to resources. A bubble bath is not going to grant you more rights to bodily autonomy, and if I attend one more training that suggests that, I may just throw my laptop in the trash. Joking, sort of.
Now that we’re all on the same page about that, there are so many ways that stress, fear, anxiety, panic, rage, disbelief, etc. show up in our bodies. Understandably - especially for BIPOC, queer folks, and to various degrees anyone who has a uterus.
Maybe you can relate: the accounts I follow and news I take in have a lot of traumatic information that bring up fear and a lot of worry for the future of people I care deeply about. Maybe you can relate: it’s extremely challenging to “go on about daily life” while the current pulse of our country is one that doesn’t feel safe and things. keep. happening. It’s a lot.
You may be feeling - carrying - the impact of this - whether it’s a clenching of your jaw, tightening of your chest and belly, scrunching of your shoulders, or picking/fidgeting with your hands.
The following things won’t fix anything on a societal level. But it might help you access a sense of stability, grounding, or connection to your body, even for a brief moment.
You are not alone. Take what you need below, and leave the rest. Also, full permission to dislike all of these ideas - that is very okay too.
Bee breath: Involves a low humming sound on a slow exhale, almost as if you’re buzzing like a bee. It stimulates the vagus nerve, which can activate the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest”; opposite of “fight/flight/freeze”). This might be a safe and accessible tool while you’re at home, work, or even in the car. See a demo here.
Lay on the floor: Nothing fancy, it’s as simple as it sounds. Sitting or laying on the floor can feel literally grounding, or provide a different perspective on your day. Feel the ground beneath, supporting your body.
Singing: Much like bee breath, singing can stimulate the vagus nerve as well, particularly lower tones, as it’s connected to your vocal chords. Perhaps there’s a song you like to sing along to - you might try it and pay attention to any shifts you notice in your body (i.e. shoulders dropping, more spacious breath, less tension in your belly, sinking more heavily into the furniture supporting you)
Deep breaths, longer exhales: A classic. Slow, deep breaths down into your belly, letting it relax and expand, and making sure the exhales are longer than the inhales. Repeat.
Movement: No rules or diet culture nonsense here - finding movement that actually feels good and accessible (and not stressful!) to your body. This could be going on a slow walk, dancing in your kitchen, stretching on the floor.
Cold water: drinking it, bathing in it, putting it on your face, feeling it with your hands, using an ice pack on your neck, whatever. Cold water can be grounding for some folks, and can provide a sensory experience - notice the temperature, flavor (if applicable), how it feels on your skin, etc.
Perspective: Stargazing, viewing landscapes, birdwatching
Permission to cry: I know a lot of folks won’t love this one, but sometimes a good cry helps us move through tough emotions. And there’s truly a lot going on that warrants crying. It can also release oxytocin (a hormone that helps us feel relational connection) and lower cortisol/stress levels.
Community: perhaps the most important tool of all. Something that has been a constant in maintaining resilience across time is community. Knowing you’re not alone in what’s happening. Identify who your people are and how you can connect with them.
Need more support with these? As a therapist who specializes in working with survivors of trauma, I incorporate many of these things in my work with clients. It’s a value of mine to help folks feel more aware and grounded not only in our sessions, but outside of the therapy sessions (where most of life happens). If any of this resonates with you, please reach out to see if we might be a good fit.
